


Roulette

by WillowClemson



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Feelings, Gen, Other, Pansexual Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24769477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillowClemson/pseuds/WillowClemson
Summary: Just my 4am ramblings about an old someone





	Roulette

You're such a dick.  
Even when you're not around, you pervade my thoughts and poison my actions with memories of your existence. The capacity your ghost has to make me happy enough to laugh out loud in the quiet of my space, only to make me equally sad with the resounding echo of my lonely laugh in an empty room. It's not like you're dead. I know where your house is, I know where you hang out, I have your number and your socials. But the roulette of seeking you out only to be met with an equal chance of a good joke and a nasty quip about my insecurities is enough to keep me from playing. I hate you. You hurt me deeper than any guy. But I love you and I miss you. I miss the way you smile through your lipstick and the way your hair curls around my fingers. The way you hug and the way you speak, the way your v neck hangs over your collar bone just right. The way you were infatuated with me but couldn't express it just right, so you just preferred hiding. I enjoyed peeling you open and dissecting your actions for clues, answers, and feelings. The most disappointing days were when I did all that careful work for nothing, because there were no feelings there. You're such a dick, but what sucks is you're only a dick sometimes.


End file.
